More than Just Kicks - Guest Blog - Jaron

More Than Just Kicks 

I was not a very good student. As a kid in K-12 I consistently had mediocre letter grades, spotty attendance, and rarely partook in sports or extracurricular programs. My teachers regularly noted that my rebellious stages were unusual. I would sometimes skip classes just to read books that were interesting to me, and in the process, forsake standardized curriculums. I had a hard time with normal scholastic structures. They were frustrating, repetitive, and difficult for me to excel in. So, you can imagine my surprise when twenty years later I found myself on the other side of the desk as a middle school teacher, tasked with educating the next generation of kids in history, science, and music.

My friends and parents were equally shocked. They never imagined that I would voluntarily step back inside a school building. But there I was, employed in the very position that had been the bane of my existence in my youth.

Oddly, teaching during that time became a learning experience. About myself, about growing up, and about just how hard it is to be a kid. I don't feel like that is talked about enough. Being a kid is SO hard. So much is expected from you. Get good grades. Learn about the world fast enough that you can join in when you're eighteen. Make friends. Figure out who you are and what you like. Go, go, go!

And getting to work with so many kids at such a formative age (11-14) taught me something. They don't just need me or their parents. They need each other.

Fast-forward a few years. I mentioned I wasn't much of an athlete. Well, that too changed. In my thirties I chose to begin K-1 kickboxing and jiu-jitsu. I had no prior experience at all, just something in my head that said 'do this'. At the beginning it was very tough to get used to. The kind of conditioning martial arts demands is unlike anything I had attempted before. The sweat, exhaustion, and ego-humbling events were (and are) never ending. But I found that this new adventure of mine echoed other life experiences. It was like learning music all over again. Learn the scale. Play the scale slowly. Mix up the notes. Improvise. Calm your nerves. Perform in front of others.

There was a new community that shared these experiences with me as well. Strangers that became close friends while we shared difficult drilling days, playful sparring sessions, and lively conversation at the end of classes. Before long these weren't just buddies that met up a few times a week, they were a kind of family. We knew what each other's jobs or hobbies were, the kind of bands everyone was into, who they were and where they came from, and collectively made each other's worlds bigger.

All of this also made me think about my own childhood and being a former teacher.

I usually arrive to classes at Underdog Martial Arts early to stretch (I'm closer to forty than I'd like to think about), right when the kids' classes are happening. Someone without my background may just see a bunch of children blowing off steam and getting rid of some energy after school; and don't get me wrong, that is absolutely a huge benefit of kids having an outlet like martial arts. But arguably what I see that's more important is those kids doing something hard, but fun, together. I've seen timid 12-year-olds become confident and gregarious. I've seen six-year-olds who have trouble focusing learn kickboxing combos and remember them. I've seen them congratulate each other on finally landing a switch kick that they used to be terrible at (mine could use some work too).

The coaches are just part of the puzzle, though at Underdog we do have some of the very best. Even with my background in education I have no notes at all for them. But the real value is deeper. Those kids are learning about community, hard work, persistence, and seeing the real rewards from those life skills. To boot, they are doing it somewhere other than their school, where they spend the majority of their waking hours from K-12.

All of these things compound with each other. It's hard, but you're not alone. It's fun, but take it seriously. Meet these new people in a new place. Get some energy out and notice how good it makes you feel. Even as a grown adult I can tell the character I've built through this discipline. Whether or not those kids stick with it and become world champion, keep training for fun, or just have fond memories, they will be stronger and more confident when they grow up. In my experience they might just be kinder and more compassionate as well.

A team isn't just about competition, and learning to fight isn't just about fighting. I began learning discipline some thirty odd years ago when I picked up some drumsticks, and I channeled that skill into so many other adventures in my life. Being patient and present is a superpower.

And now as I reflect on it, if there were one single thing I would change about my journey in martial arts it would be simple: I wish I had started sooner.

See y'all on the mats,

Jaron